Do Our Formative Years & a Possible Familiarity Bias Impact How We Perceive Counselling?

The concept of seeking help, or just the mere mention of the term ‘counselling’-brought up casually in conversations- has and continues to give rise to certain myths people still abide by dutifully in the present day, therefore making it not that unusual of a phenomenon. Some of the more common ones include staunch beliefs that counselling exists exclusively for the “crazy” or “weak”, that it is pointless to pay someone just to talk to you- among others. However, upon further exploration, more (occasionally unconventional) such myths might come to light.

The crucial early stages of our life, notably our childhood, build the foundation for who we become as individuals over the years. The struggles we experience during this phase are unique to each and every one of us, so are our ways of processing and dealing with them. When we do decide to seek help, the majority of our work with our counsellor might potentially involve our own navigation, therefore making it a collaborative process rather than a unilateral one. However, one of the most common myths people have includes the fear that our counsellor might sit on a high horse and judge us, that they might take sides and deem our parents or our background responsible for all our current struggles. Although this myth cannot be completely ruled out, it still prevents a major portion of the population from seeking help. 

For certain situations, it can be helpful to analyse our past and observe how our environment, or those around us, have shaped our current mentalities and how we respond to situations today. However, regardless of whether we decide to analyse our present or past, it is important to note that seeking help or counselling is not solely about assigning blame to anyone or anything. Rather, it often involves learning to develop a constructive mental outlook, and healthy relationships with ourselves and those around us- with the guidance of a trusted figure all the while.

Another myth commonly reported is that a stranger cannot make much sense or understand our lives or personal struggles, with many considering the whole process intrusive, even. While it is common and normal to want to turn to those we know and are close to when things get rough, our loved ones usually don’t have the skills or the objectivity needed to view the situation- regardless of good their intentions may be. This is not to imply that their advice cannot play a valuable role in our lives, but to simply affirm that seeking help from a trained professional might act as an effective external resource to guide us through these rough times. 

In most ideal situations, an unbiased and objective professional not only provides us the emotional grounding necessary but also helps us develop insight into situations and feelings which we may not be able to receive from those around us.

The key objective, therefore, should be to eliminate shame as a ruling factor; and instead, psycho educate oneself and others regarding the importance of seeking help and looking beyond superficiality.