Emotional Dysregulation: The Hidden Engine Behind Social Media addiction

We often blame social media addiction on phones, apps, or a lack of self-control. Research however, tells a different story. What if we told you that the real issue is not the screen, but how we handle our emotions.

Across multiple studies, emotional dysregulation shows up again and again as the strongest predictor of problematic social media use. Emotional dysregulation means difficulty understanding emotions, calming oneself down, or coping with distress in healthy ways. When emotions feel overwhelming, social media becomes an easy escape.

Scrolling, liking, and checking notifications offer quick emotional relief. Feeling lonely? Open Instagram. Feeling anxious? Check WhatsApp. Feeling bored or empty? Scroll through endless reels. Over time, this turns into a habit where social media becomes the main tool for regulating emotions, which increases the risk of addiction (Peker & Yıldız, 2022; Liu & Ma, 2019).

Research with adolescents shows that poor emotion regulation is strongly linked to social media addiction, which then increases depression, anxiety, and loneliness (Magalhães et al., 2024; Türk & Koçyiğit, 2025). Fear of Missing Out, or FoMO, makes this even worse by triggering anxiety and social comparison, pushing people to stay constantly online (Ntumi et al., 2025; Varchetta et al., 2023).

It can be said that when unmanaged emotions meet platforms that promise instant comfort and gratification, social media addiction is nothing but the natural outcome.

How can we practice Emotional Regulation to combat this?

If emotional dysregulation is the root problem, then the solution lies in strengthening emotional regulation skills rather than just cutting down on screen time.

1. Building Emotional Awareness

Many people scroll because they do not know what they are feeling. So, labelling and putting a name to feelings instead of jumping in on an instinct to avoid it is key.

You could try:

• Pausing before opening an app and ask, “What am I feeling right now?” or “Am I trying to avoid any particular feeling or emotion?”

• Practice naming emotions beyond “good” or “bad,” such as anxious, lonely, overwhelmed, or bored – the emotion wheel can be a useful reference for this activity.

• Journaling or emotion-tracking apps can improve emotional clarity and help us reflect (Peker & Yıldız, 2022)

  
  

2. Learning to Sit with Discomfort

Social media often becomes a quick way to escape uncomfortable emotions. Sitting with uncomfortable and distressing emotions can be hard at first but not doing it is akin to not emptying the garbage – it eventually starts to smell, then spreads germs and bacteria, turning into a much bigger problem that you cannot ignore.

What you can do practically:

• Try grounding techniques like deep breathing, holding something cold, or the 5-4-3-2-1 method of noticing five things you can see around you, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. This enables grounding through engaging the five senses.

• Set a short “wait time” of five minutes before opening social media when distressed

• Remind yourself that emotions rise and fall naturally

3. Find Offline Ways to Express Emotions

Unexpressed emotions often look for an outlet online, as it feels easy but may not always be safe or fulfil our emotional needs.

Instead, you can try:

• Writing freely in a journal without worrying about structure

• Expressing emotions through music, art, movement or any other hobby you enjoy

• Talk to one safe person instead of seeking validation online, which can leave us feeling empty and unfulfilled

4. Tackling FoMO Thought Patterns

Fear of Missing Out, better known as FoMO, feeds off emotional dysregulation by increasing anxiety and comparison, but it is also what can keep us wanting to constantly be online to soothe those feelings.

What helps:

• Challenging thoughts like “Everyone is having fun without me”, evaluate whether that is really true or not every time, and whether how much one posts can accurately show just how much they are enjoying life

• Limiting comparison triggers by muting or unfollowing distressing content, people and topics

• Reminding yourself that social media shows highlights, not real life, so you may be comparing someone’s highlights with your real life (Türk & Koçyiğit, 2025)

5. Strengthening Real Emotional Connections

Research shows secure emotional bonds reduce reliance on social media for emotional needs (Liu & Ma, 2019). Strong relationships act as natural emotion regulators for us and can become important protective factors against social media addiction.

What can help you get there:

• Spending intentional time with people who feel emotionally safe

• Practicing sharing feelings gradually and honestly

It is not always the lack of willpower that can cause social media dependency but absence of emotional regulation skills that were never taught. So, let us stop the shame-and-blame game and instead help ourselves understand, tolerate, and express emotions better, and help others by being a safe place for them. The need to escape into screens will naturally reduce because real change begins not by logging off, but by tuning in to our emotional world.

References

Liu, C., & Ma, J. (2019). Adult Attachment Style, Emotion Regulation, and Social Networking Sites Addiction. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 2352. https://doi.org/10.3389/FPSYG.2019.02352

Magalhães, J. R., Figueiredo, M. M. C., Dos Santos, A. B. T. M., Cefali, F. B. P., Solfa, D. de O., Neto, R. B. M., Fontenelle, S. G. P., Girão, M. V. F., Barreiro, R. M., Stangherlin, L., & dos Santos, J. C. C. (2024). The Relationship between Addictive Use of Social Media and Psychiatric Disorders: The Mediating Role of Emotion Dysregulation. https://doi.org/10.52600/2965-0968.bjcmr.2024.2.4.34-43

Ntumi, S., Amos, P. M., Danquah, S. A., Amoako, B. M., Hansen, A., & Amezugbe, C. (2025). From Likes to Lows: A Serial Mediation Analysis of How Social Media Addiction, Fear of Missing Out (FoMO), Emotional Regulation, Assessment Engagement, and Assessment Anxiety Influence Depression Among Adolescents in Ghana. https://doi.org/10.21203/rs.3.rs-6916786/v1

Peker, A., & Yıldız, M. N. (2022). Examining the Relationships Between Adolescents’ Emotion Regulation Levels and Social Media Addiction. Clinical and Experimental Health Sciences. https://doi.org/10.33808/clinexphealthsci.869465

Türk, F., & Koçyiğit, B. (2025). The Relationship Between Fear of Missing Out and Loneliness Among Adolescents in the Digital Age: The Mediating Roles of Emotion Dysregulation and Social Media Addiction. Malaysian Online Journal of Educational Technology, 13(1), 19–36. https://doi.org/10.52380/mojet.2025.13.1.566

Varchetta, M., González-Sala, F., Mari, E., Quaglieri, A., Fraschetti, A., Cricenti, C., Giannini, A. M., & Martí-Vilar, M. (2023). Psychosocial risk factors of technological addictions in a sample of Spanish University students: The influence of Emotional (Dys)Regulation, personality traits and Fear of Missing Out on internet addiction. Psychiatry Research-Neuroimaging, 329. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2023.115518